


this love came back to me

by 7xkxkckx



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Actors, Eventual Romance, Getting to Know Each Other, M/M, Past Relationship(s), mild trust issues on renjun's part, vague timeline of drama filming, what matters is renmin's blooming relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:42:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24395962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7xkxkckx/pseuds/7xkxkckx
Summary: When Renjun accepted the offer to act as the rival of South Korea's boy-next-door in a serial drama, encountering love was the last thing on his mind.or, rising star in the acting industry, Huang Renjun,finallymeets (his biggest fan) esteemed actor, Na Jaemin.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin
Comments: 17
Kudos: 235
Collections: RENMIN FIC FEST: ROUND ONE





	this love came back to me

**Author's Note:**

> **heads up for brief depiction and mention of claustrophobia in one section of this fic and mild swearing.** this au features more of what happens behind the cameras rather than the drama itself but there are parts that focus on it, also it wasn't mentioned in the fic but they are aged up to 24 in this universe. i made a lot of creative liberties regarding the acting industry in skr since i'm not entirely sure how it works there. in spite of the inaccuracies and errors, i hope you enjoy reading! :)

“Congratulations on your drama, Renjun! The ratings of the final episode are sky-high and your acting was received splendidly by the viewers.” Sicheng smiles at him proudly. “This is where your career takes off.”

Renjun mirrors the smile Sicheng wore, also proud of himself. He has faith in his performance and hearing that his abilities were noticed, praised even, makes his chest swell in pride. 

“And by that I mean, you’re casted in a production by a director who’s _big_ in the film industry with famous and seasoned artists. I know this is a huge step from your previous projects but I think this will be a great opportunity for you, Renjun.”

Sicheng’s frame falters a bit and Renjun sees hesitation flicker momentarily in his eyes. It’s unusual for his manager to insist on a project, he always let Renjun go through all of the offers on his own and choose what he likes or queries if there’s any open role he’s interested in. Sicheng rarely imposes, only voices out his opinion when needed.

For Sicheng to suggest a drama, evidently it must be _something._

“So, what do you say?” Sicheng prompts.

“Tell me more about it.” 

Renjun wants to poke fun at the way Sicheng’s shoulders sag in relief. It’s a refreshing sight that his cool and typically composed manager is capable of getting nervous. Renjun doesn’t tease him though, his tentativeness about it only means Sicheng values his opinion highly. He’s always been thankful to have a manager who listens and cares about his perspective.

“Hear me out in this, okay? It focuses on romance but there is also a coming-of-age storyline featured in it that I believe you’ll enjoy partaking in. I went through the script and I’m sure you’ll love it.”

This piques Renjun’s interest. With his eyebrows raised he curiously turns to Sicheng, “What about the people I’ll be acting with?”

“Only a few have been confirmed as cast. You’re getting casted as a lead character and if you give this a go sign you’ll be working with Kim Yerim and Na Jaemin. Haven’t you mentioned before that you admire Jaemin’s skills?”

“Yeah, he’s a great actor.” Renjun hums thoughtfully, then glances at Sicheng with a look of finality. “Alright. I trust you, Sicheng _ge_. Send me the script soon.”

“Of course. You won’t regret this.”

  
  


*

It’s simple.

How Renjun ended up pursuing an acting career can be simply answered by his love to perform. To be on stage. To show his craft, his art, and to express. If he weren’t an actor, Renjun knows in an alternate universe he still would be pursuing a career that involves performing, probably an idol since he also has a passion for singing.

Sometimes, Renjun allows himself to dwell in _what ifs_ he swore not to touch upon. He wonders what if he were braver back then and took the chance to audition with Donghyuck; would they be performing on stage together?

Renjun shakes his head. Shakes the thoughts away.

It’s all in the past and Renjun needs to focus on the present. Learn from the past, do your best now and let your efforts bear fruit in the future. To not linger in thoughts of _what ifs_ and _could have been_ is easier said than done, and sometimes Renjun succumbs to his own wistfulness. It won’t hurt him when there’s nothing left to do but retrace what has happened.

Besides, Renjun believes the past is a place to be visited once in a while.

It is a place that reminds who you were, the person you are now, and who you seek to become. It guides him to where he wants to be, each passing day is a step closer. Looking back, it appears that he’s already gone far, when he started from small acting gigs compared to the present where critics not only praised the drama he starred in but his stellar performance as well.

But Renjun knows that was just the beginning of his career.

 _And this opportunity will define the course it will go._ Renjun’s chest feels tight, as though a hand was clamping around his lungs, anxiety strongly announcing its presence. He holds the script for his next drama but shows no indication of going through it. 

SPRING BRINGS YOU

by

Suh Young-Ho 

Renjun lowers his gaze on the note written on the bottom of the page; _Kang Erin to be played by actor Huang Renjun._

Finally having the script in his hands and discovering the character he will act as makes the situation feel real. Normally, Renjun is excited to dive into a new project and find out more about the character he was casted as but this particular drama is different. Renjun avoids accepting dramas with heavy romance plots, not that he dislikes romance dramas itself but rather he’s not confident in acting in one.

As an actor, Renjun doesn’t simply _know_ his character. He views them as an actual person, understands every aspect that comes with them, learns what made them to be the person that they are in order to perfectly project their emotions and bring life to their character. Renjun is particular about his work, he wants his acting to come out as real as he can make it seem.

Due to his strict attention to detail when it comes to acting, Renjun utilizes his personal experiences a lot. He believes that if the actor has experienced an emotion or feeling they were to portray then they will be able to recreate it accurately as if it’s true. 

Acting a character that has a major romantic development requires Renjun to follow the standards he set himself. Even if acting is simply that – acting – he still needs to look like it. He needs to look like he _is,_ without a doubt, in love. He avoids taking roles as such because he doesn’t think he’s ready for it, he doesn’t know how to act like he’s in love when it’s been long since he last felt love.

The ringing of his phone disrupts his thoughts. He picks up his phone and immediately answers seeing that it was Donghyuck calling.

“Hyuck! It’s unusual for you to call.”

 _“I just wanted to relay my congratulations to my best friend personally. I made sure to watch every episode of your drama, you know? You were amazing, Jun.”_ A smile easily makes its way on Renjun’s lips even with Donghyuck haughtily following, _“And you should be honored. That’s coming from me.”_

Renjun can’t help but laugh. _Typical Donghyuck._ “Of course, of course. It’s a _huge honor_ to be praised by the one and only Haechan. A living legend.”

Donghyuck snorts almost inaudibly.

_“I saw an article that you got casted in Seo Youngho’s upcoming drama. I’m excited to see you in it! I was a fan of his last work. Have you seen any of his films?”_

He shrinks upon hearing that his friend had learned about his new drama without him telling first. Donghyuck had always been the first person Renjun breaks the news regarding his upcoming stuff but his inexplicable anxiety over this one held him back. 

“No, I haven’t…yet.”

Donghyuck makes a sound like he was offended and in disbelief. _“You haven’t?”_

“Well, my schedule didn’t give me the luxury to check out any of the recent movies that came out or dramas even.” Renjun explains and he hears a huff on the other line.

_“But you make sure to watch the previous projects of the director you’re going to work with to get a good grasp of their artistry or whatever it was that you always say.”_

“I do.”

“Well, you must have read through the script then?”

Renjun’s gaze lands on the pile lying on his coffee table, waiting to be picked up and read. He chews on his lower lip and sighs knowing he can’t keep delaying this any longer.

_“Hello? Renjun? Are you still there?”_

“Yeah. I’m working up the courage to read the script.”

The other line goes silent for a while and Renjun’s not surprised. He stares at the script as if doing so would make it disappear but in reality Renjun wishes it won’t come off as overwhelming as it does. Before, the drama seemed like a great idea when Sicheng talked about it but he can’t say the same for now.

 _“I think it’s best if you watched his recent film first to spark the passion in you.”_ Donghyuck suggests, tone understanding and soft. _“Call me again soon. I know you can do this, Renjun. Believe in yourself.”_

Even if his best friend wouldn’t be able to see, Renjun smiles upon Donghyuck’s words of encouragement. Donghyuck knows him as much as he knows himself, and possibly understands him better than he does. He grasps his phone slightly tighter, a sense of conviction brewing inside him.

“I will. Thanks, Hyuck.”

  
  
  


Renjun picked up on a recurring theme in all of Seo Youngho’s works.

There is always that character who held significance to the plot and added substance to his craft that’s queer-coded, sometimes outright said to be. It was the reason why his works were heavily criticized due to South Korea’s conservative traditions but it did not diminish the brilliance of the director’s work. Renjun understood why Donghyuck is a fan.

Regardless of sexuality, age, gender, and race Youngho clearly captures what it is to be human in his films.

Renjun found himself nurturing a new flame of passion right after the credits rolled.

  
  


*

  
  


First shoot on set and Huang Renjun is a huge bundle of nerves.

Sicheng is walking beside him and he’s burying the urge to cling onto his manager because everything about the place screams big shot to him and if he screws up on the first day then it’s a magnificent royal screw up.

“You good?” Sicheng turns to him wearing a concerned look and Renjun hopes the smile he flashes doesn’t give way that he’s feeling like bursting on the spot.

“First day jitters.” He replied and Sicheng smiled understandingly.

“Don’t get too worked up. I know Youngho, you’re in good hands.”

Renjun nods. Somehow, Sicheng’s words diminished a quarter of his anxiety and it helped him greet each staff member they came across to in a more relaxed manner. 

However, his nerves spike up again when he’s informed that Na Jaemin is also on set.

A part of him is undeniably excited to meet the young but popular actor. Despite being his age, Jaemin clearly is in a different league and Renjun admires his acting most. Though, there is also a side of him that’s afraid. It doesn’t feel right for a rookie actor like him to stand on an equal stage as to Jaemin who’s built a name for himself and his prominent talent in acting.

 _No,_ that’s not the kind of mindset Renjun should be having when he recognizes his own skills.

Still, he feels antsy at the thought of talking to Jaemin. Before Renjun could gather enough confidence to find and meet Jaemin, the young actor presents himself in front of him with no prior notice.

“Hi!”

Shock overwhelms Renjun’s senses, rendering him unable to respond to Jaemin’s cheery greeting. The actor who Renjun has been worrying over how to approach is standing right before him and he’s too stunned to utter to talk. Jaemin doesn’t deter from the lack of response he gets from his co-star and continues to stretch out his hand towards the speechless actor.

“Nice to _finally_ meet you, Renjun. I’m Na Jaemin—”

“I know.”

Renjun didn’t mean to interrupt him but the frazzled state that his mind was in somewhat shut off the basic social skills he had.

Jaemin though does not appear offended at all. If anything, he seems delighted to which Renjun does not quite follow how he elicited that reaction. “We’re going to be working together a lot in the next months and I really hope we’ll get along while shooting the series.”

Much to Renjun’s relief, he recovers from his shock and belatedly takes Jaemin’s hand only to shake it a bit too eagerly. “Likewise. I’m sorry for cutting you off. I didn’t mean to be rude.”

“That’s fine.” Jaemin assures with an easy smile. “I’m honored to discover that rising actor Huang Renjun knows me.”

“It would be a crime not to know you.” Comes Renjun’s witty remark, though soon he becomes a bit bashful. Their hands stop shaking but Jaemin keeps hold for a moment longer, smiling a different kind of fond. 

“Let’s get along then, Renjun- _ssi_?”

Renjun can’t stop his heart from skipping a beat at the way the other gazed at him. Na Jaemin is truly an amazing actor.

“Let’s.”

  
  


*

  
  


Kang Erin doesn’t like Kim Eunha, the transferee.

She reminds him of someone he hates but Erin can’t help but be drawn to her. And the universe seems adamant to tie their lives together.

Unbeknownst to Erin, another life will be tangled in theirs.

Contrary to Jaemin’s words, they rarely shoot scenes together in the first two weeks.

Their characters were enemies after all. Or, that’s one way to describe the relationship they have with each other in the drama in simple words. If Renjun had to name who he spent the most time with while filming, it was the lead actress, Kim Yerim.

The actress plays the character of _Kim Eunha_ , Jaemin and his supposed love interest. Aside from her innate excellence in acting, Yerim captures Eunha's childlike innocence perfectly which convinces Renjun that no actress but her fits the role best. She was also welcoming towards Renjun, constantly assuring the younger to be relaxed around her.

Soon, the two of them fall into an easy friendship.

It’s the third week of filming, Renjun has grown familiar with his colleagues and the production staff. Seo Youngho created an atmosphere where rather than keeping a strict work environment, the whole cast along with the staff are to treat each other as family. Youngho as a director is incredibly patient and kind, he doesn’t hold back praising actors believing that every success – big or small – should be commended. 

The thing with Youngho, he chooses to hear the opinion of others as a way to avoid conflict while shooting. Renjun was used to getting bossed around and rarely encountered directors similar to his approach before. The director even goes out of his way to personally know his cast and even if it was awkward at first Renjun soon became comfortable enough to voice out his ideas at some of his scenes.

Filming was normally tiring but Renjun felt little to no exhaustion while shooting for this drama. It must be because Renjun enjoys being on set even if it hasn’t been long since they started. He could kiss Sicheng right now to convey his gratitude for convincing him to take this project.

Renjun intently watches Yerim’s solo scene, freely letting his awe show on his face. _Years of experience surely won’t betray you and does make one a distinct actor_ , he thinks. He holds up two thumbs up at Yerim when she finishes and the actress smiles at him gratefully.

“That was great, _sunbaenim!_ ”

“I told you _noona_ is fine. We’re only a year apart.” Yerim offers and taps Renjun’s face cheekily.

“Right.” He mutters sheepishly. “It’s hard to get used to. Is it really okay for someone like me to be casual with you?”

Yerim looks at him in faint amusement. “You’re not _just_ any actor, Renjun.”

Red blooms across Renjun’s cheeks at the indirect compliment his co-star said. Yerim giggles at his reaction and lightly nudges the actor with her shoulder.

“You’re adorable.” She says, interest obvious in the way her eyebrows were raised. “I see why Jaemin has been green with jealousy that he doesn’t have scenes with you yet.”

“Jaemin?” Renjun parrots.

“Don’t tell him I was the one who told you,” Yerim makes him promise and he nods. She glances around before looking back at Renjun with mischief swimming in her eyes. “He’s really excited to work with you.”

The information doesn’t sink to him at first.

“You seem surprised?” 

“I am.” Renjun answers truthfully, still trying to wrap his mind at the idea that Jaemin is excited to work with him. 

“I think it’s quite obvious.” 

But her words don't help clear out anything. 

And the universe has a way with its coincidences, he finds Jaemin staring at them from afar and as soon as their eyes lock on each other the actor grins. Renjun returns the gesture before facing the actress beside him who was watching their interaction with curiosity.

Yerim merely offers him a knowing smile.

  
  


Erin hates Park Soomin.

Erin hates how perfect he is. He has a perfect family, perfect grades, and a perfect smile. He can’t stand the way Soomin has everything he wants.

And is everything that he wants.

The proper scene Renjun shoots with Jaemin requires a great amount of emotion from him.

Renjun doesn’t find it hard to embody the role he plays once the cameras start rolling, it’s like there’s a switch inside him that he easily slips into character. One thing he prides himself in is he knows the line between the person he’s acting to be and who he is. He studies his character, practices even when he’s at home, and learns more about everything that makes up the character he’s acting.

He relies heavily on his experiences – the familiarity – to provoke emotions within him but a little research proves to be helpful as well. _Erin_ holds a lot of firsts for Renjun as an actor because most of the roles given to him were kind and had the _‘pure’_ charm attached to them. This person he’s going to act as though, on the other hand, is quite the opposite.

Kang Erin is introduced as the rival of Park Soomin – the character Jaemin plays – in the drama. He comes off snobbish, has a bit of a snarky attitude, and prefers to be alone rather than mingle with his classmates. It’s far from the token helpful neighborhood boy he acted in his former hit drama. Ever since they started filming Renjun hasn’t once smiled in front of the cameras and it should be weird but excites him instead.

Renjun is required to act differently from the roles he was used to and he welcomes the struggle with open arms. 

This is also the first time Renjun is acting a character with a prominent phobia.

Afraid of narrow spaces, Erin’s childhood trauma manifested into the boy becoming claustrophobic. Renjun has a good grasp on how to convey his fear but he still feels nervous, he assures himself that it will be alright. Failing is not bad, by then he’ll know how to make it better. 

He hears Youngho’s cue and envisions the scene in his mind.

_Erin gets himself locked inside the janitor’s closet as the faulty lock of the door slipped his mind._

Renjun widens his eyes when the door doesn’t open despite twisting the knob and pauses for a long moment, emphasizing his realization that the door is stuck. He tries to open the door again, breathing calm and steady, when it still doesn’t budge Renjun’s actions grow frantic. The next moment he’s rattling the doorknob in a desperate attempt to get out.

“Good work!” Youngho motions to cut the cameras and grins at Renjun. “That was some splendid acting right there, kid.”

Still not used with the spontaneous compliments coming from the director, Renjun’s neck flushes a dark shade of red. “Ah, thank you.”

“You’re coming in the next scene Jaemin. Are you ready?”

The said actor nods then turns to flash Renjun a smile that catches him off-guard. Somehow he’s able to return a tiny smile of his at Jaemin before he follows Youngho’s instruction to return inside the small closet. Renjun hears the call and he wills back the persona of Erin as he crouches down into the position he was in the previous scene.

It plays clearly in his head. Soomin flings the door open in a haste to find Erin knowing about his fear. He tries to help Erin to stand up but the latter falls, legs weak due to going through a panic attack. Soomin notices that the other was completely overwhelmed that he’s unable to speak and tries to help Erin calm down.

When it actually happens, however, Renjun hadn’t anticipated Jaemin himself.

“Erin!”

“Are you alright?” Jaemin asks as brows knit together to express concern. “Can you stand up?”

Renjun meets his co-star’s concerned gaze and realizes that he should’ve been prepared for _this_ instead _._

He grabs hold of Jaemin’s outstretched palm and stands up. In character, both of his knees give out and he stumbles into the taller male, as Renjun though, it surprises him because he doesn’t think he was acting that part at all because of the way Jaemin’s eyes are on him. 

Renjun should have prepared his heart when he knew there’s an intensity that comes along with Jaemin's ability to hold such emotions in his eyes, he was notorious for this feat that only a few actors can do and many strive to achieve. 

“It’s okay. I got you.” Jaemin tightly holds his elbow, effectively preventing him from dropping. 

The taller actor lowers him on the ground slowly into a kneeling position and Renjun pays mind into his breathing, opting to keep an erratic pattern of it. Though he feels his breath lodge in his throat when Jaemin rests a hand on his shoulder and lowers his head to look at him closely.

Renjun stares back at him, maintaining a face stricken by fear. 

Jaemin hovers over his smaller frame and pulls him into a loose hug. _“Shhh, it’s alright. Everything is fine. I’m here. You’re safe. Breathe.”_

And Renjun breathes. He breathes in the fresh linen scent of Jaemin’s uniform with a hint of citrus burst that reminds him of summer, bright and warm days. _Warm,_ Renjun grips the material of the actor’s shirt tighter. A little lightheaded as his senses seem to only register the close presence of Jaemin, he rests his forehead against Jaemin’s shoulder and breathes steadily.

He doesn’t know how long they stay in that position.

“Shouldn’t you be pushing me away any second now?” Jaemin’s whispers, breath hot on Renjun’s ears.

Renjun snaps back to reality. He abruptly pushes Jaemin away from him out of instinct, eyes blown wide and face heating up. _Right_ , they were acting, the cameras were on them. He’s partly relieved that he didn’t have lines to say in this particular scene because his throat felt like closing in itself. Renjun is sure that if he did they would have to retake due to him fumbling over his lines.

But even if he didn’t forget his dialogue, Renjun can tell that they’ll have to retake this one.

“Cut!” Youngho yells through his megaphone. “It’s good up to that point. Except for your reaction, Renjun. You looked embarrassed after pushing Jaemin away when you should be pale with shock in this part.”

“Let’s do it again. Are you ready?”

Miraculously, Renjun pulls it off on the second take. 

Youngho nods in evident satisfaction and doesn’t question Renjun’s mortified expression earlier. Jaemin though has been eyeing him indiscreetly.

“You guys are done for today.” He gives them a thumbs up then gestures at a staff, “Please call Yerim for me. We’ll start her scenes shortly.”

Jaemin matches his pace as they walk away from the set. Renjun could see from peripherals that Jaemin still eyed him from the side.

“What are you looking at?”

“Nothing, nothing.” The playful glint in his eyes says otherwise.

Jaemin appeared like he wanted to say something else but he gets pulled away by his manager and Renjun takes the opportunity to flee and roam around the school they were shooting at.

  
  


“So this is where you ran off to.”

Renjun startles at Jaemin who suddenly announces his presence. He catches the younger actor chuckling and sends a glare to his direction that the other dismisses with a wave of his hand and a cheeky grin.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours, _hm?_ ” Jaemin tips his head to the side, curiously eyeing Renjun.

Deliberately ignoring his flirty remark, Renjun ponders for a moment whether to say it’s nothing or tell the truth. Jaemin’s grin mellows down into a tiny sincere smile, then he supposes it won’t hurt to be honest with the other actor. “Just reminiscing memories from high school.”

 _Memories with_ _him._ Renjun averts his gaze towards the field across them where students are playing football. It has been years and Renjun hasn’t seen him ever since but the environment reminds him of all the times he spent with a certain boy. He’s not even a boy anymore, he grew older and moved on, unlike Renjun who has a few attachments left he can’t let go.

Jaemin doesn’t hide his interest as he sits beside him. “The setup does take me back. This uniform too.”

Renjun would rather take his mind off his memories of the past thus he steers the conversation towards Jaemin, “I’m sure you were popular back then. A serial heartbreaker maybe?” A distraction for the other actor who was interested in what he was remembering and a distraction he needs himself. 

The assumption draws a laugh out from Jaemin and Renjun’s mind lingers on the melodious sound.

”Oh, I was _popular_ but not in that sense. I used to be a troublemaker that got scolded a lot by my teachers.” 

“I find that hard to believe.” Renjun pins him a suspicious stare.

Jaemin slightly leans into his space, “Why so?”

“You look like someone who stops trouble from happening.”

“I guess my image as an actor is hard to separate from the real _me_.” Jaemin leans back and looks up, a smile on his face that looks almost sad. 

Renjun presses his lips into a thin line, it wasn’t his intention to upset the younger actor. Guilt weighs on his chest despite not being entirely sure what the reason is for it, perhaps, it’s because he also had this idea of Jaemin in his mind that the actor is untouchable. Jaemin is South Korea’s IT boy, it’s only normal to think his co-star belongs to a completely different stage compared to him.

But starring in the same drama as him, Renjun realizes that his idea of Jaemin isn’t who he is.

He spares Jaemin a glance, a strong urge to put the smile back unto his lips residing in him. Jaemin’s lasting impression on him that stayed true was that he has the ability to brighten anyone’s mood with just a smile. So, Renjun opts to be honest about what he says in response.

“Well… it’s because you have a pretty smile. A lot must have fallen to your feet at the glimpse of it.” 

That seems to do the trick as Jaemin turns to face with a full grin on display, gums peeking out in the corners of his mouth, the grin Renjun was hoping he’d coax out from him. “You think I have a pretty smile?” Jaemin asks and his eyes smile along with his lips.

Renjun pretends Jaemin’s smile doesn’t tug his heartstrings and replies, “I’m not repeating what I said.”

A beat of comfortable silence falls between them and Renjun lets the corners of his mouth curve upwards. His head feels light, a rather pleasant kind of lightheadedness unlike what he experienced earlier. He wouldn’t mind staying in Jaemin’s presence like this, quietly basking in the cool breeze of spring under the shade of a tree.

Renjun wouldn’t mind getting closer to the actor too but he sets aside that thought for another time.

Jaemin, on the other hand, had different plans.

“Don’t you think we should hang out sometime?” He stops to look at Renjun and seems to consider his next words, “I think we’ll get along better and even while we’re acting our respective roles.”

Renjun raises a brow at the young actor’s suggestion but understands his point.

“Erin and Soomin are rivals.” He reminds Jaemin.

Jaemin shows no sign of giving up and tries to convince him. “Our characters will become friends soon. Not to mention they were friends before.” 

“ _Soon._ ” Renjun toots then gives a teasing smile, “Ask me again when the time comes.”

“You better say yes when I do.”

  
  


*

  
  


Soomin used to be friends with Kang Erin.

He bitterly looks back at their ruined friendship as he doesn’t know where it all went wrong. Sometimes, Soomin wonders if he can be friends with Erin again.

Kim Eunha seems to be the answer.

_Na Jaemin calling…_

_“Have you seen the pilot episode yesterday?”_

Renjun hums. “It had better ratings than what I anticipated.”

 _“Of course.”_ There’s a telltale smugness in Jaemin’s tone and Renjun predicts what he’ll say next, _that’s expected when I’m in it._

_“Many people look forward to your acting in the drama after your amazing performance on your last one.”_

“Me?” He asks, genuinely surprised. 

_“Erin contrasts greatly from all the ones you’ve acted as. It’s something to look forward to unlike mine.”_ Jaemin explains smoothly.

Renjun ignores how his heart skipped a beat upon hearing Jaemin’s words. 

“Compliments won’t get you anywhere, Na.”

The tinkling sound of Jaemin’s laughter comes through despite the filtered quality of the call. 

_“That’s a shame. I was hoping it could have persuaded you to go out with me today.”_

He bites his lip to hide the smile forming even if the other couldn’t see it,“All you needed to do was ask, you know.”

_“Well?”_

Renjun hums thoughtfully. There was no need to ponder over it but he’s having fun playing hard to get with the younger actor. And, maybe, a tiny portion of his mind is hesitant and worried about opening up to Jaemin.

_“Come on, we have a whole week before filming resumes. I checked with your manager in advance and you don’t have anything scheduled for the day.”_

“Because it’s my day off.”

 _“You have the whole week off.”_ Jaemin deadpans.

“I need to tell Sicheng not to disclose my schedule to anyone.”

 _“Do you see me as_ just _anyone? You wound me, Huang Renjun. And here I thought we could get to know each other better.”_ Jaemin says in a petulant tone that cracks Renjun up.

“Fine. I’ll grace you with my presence today.”

In the end, he easily gives in anyway.

  
  


Renjun pulls his cap down to cover his face. He’s been doing it for the past few minutes, never able to shake off the anxiety of getting recognized and the worst case mobbed by overenthusiastic fans. He stuffs his hands in his pockets and counts to ten. If Jaemin hasn’t shown up when he’s finished… he’ll lurk in a different place and tell him.

The thing is Renjun is looking forward to meeting the actor outside where there aren’t cameras around them.

Despite the numerous times Jaemin stated that he wants to be friends with Renjun, establish a deep connection between them rather than simple colleagues starring in the same show, he still felt skeptic about the younger actor’s friendly approaches. Not that he thinks Jaemin actually has ill intentions towards him and he was putting up a facade.

Normally, Renjun wouldn’t let his anxiety get to his head. He encounters difficulties when Jaemin enters the picture, for some reason Renjun is yet to figure out, Jaemin makes him nervous in more ways than one. Renjun would say he finds it hard to believe that Jaemin is interested in spending time with him but that’s a poor excuse of what he’s really worried about.

He’s uneasy because once he allows the actor to breach his walls, there’s no means of undoing it.

This day won’t be like the casual conversations they have on breaks while filming. It’s beyond the – sometimes obligatory – unplanned dinners with other actors and it means _more_ to Renjun that Jaemin is willing to allot his free hours, _rare_ free hours, with him. Now, Renjun knows he shouldn’t be feeling that it’s a big deal when in reality it’s not. It’s only a hang out between two friends, what is there to fret for?

 _Friends._

Jaemin is naturally friendly, a social butterfly that attracts people in one smile even though he can be exasperating once you get to know him. It’s perfectly normal for him to ask his coworkers to hang out once in a while, Renjun reasons. He remembers that Yerim and Jaemin are close friends even before he had met them. 

The two must have gone out together similar to this meetup he’s going to have with Jaemin. Even Renjun himself went out with a few actor friends of his. Meeting Jaemin won’t be different from that, right? 

_This feels like a high school crush,_ he realizes then freezes on his spot, _no, no, it is_ not _a crush._ Renjun grabs his cap in annoyance, stops midway from pulling it down as he realizes he’s doing it again then resorts to removing it and running his other hand through his hair. _Jaemin isn’t even here yet and here I am getting all worked up, great._

“Hi.”

Jaemin hops in front of Renjun unceremoniously which almost earns him a fist to the nose if not for his quick reflexes. He held the shorter male’s fist in his palm with ease as he tipped his head to the side, directing an amused stare at Renjun.

“Woah there. We haven’t gotten to that part yet.”

Renjun blinks while recovering from shock. “I’m sorry, you startled me.”

He waves him off, lips adorning a kind smile. “You know if it weren’t for the pout on your lip, I wouldn’t have recognized you from afar.”

 _I could say the same to you._ Jaemin wore a disguise of his own. A bucket hat that covered most of his head, brown bangs peeking slightly under, and a black mask that was pulled down to his chin. 

“I will not hesitate to punch you again.” Disgruntled, Renjun glares at the taller male.

“Just kidding.” Jaemin raises both of his hands in mock surrender. “Shall we get going?”

“Are you sure it’s safe for us to walk around on our own? Wouldn’t it be better if we went back to mine?”

“Don’t worry, Renjun. I know a cozy place only a few people go to.”

Jaemin leads him to a street that’s less busy than where they came from, vehicles weren’t as frequent, and no one appeared to be on a rush to who-knows-where. Renjun trails close after Jaemin and as the man comes to a halt, he grasps on the sleeves of his shirt, glancing warily around the unfamiliar area. Less people meant a higher risk of danger.

“Hey, this street is safe. Trust me.” Jaemin grabs a hold of both his hands and squeezes them as a form of reassurance. “We’re here.”

Renjun follows the taller male’s line of sight and looks up to what appears to be an old bookstore. Jaemin enters the shop with Renjun trailing behind him, he examines the place and discovers that it’s a bookstore-café fused type of establishment. The whole place is everything vintage even the faint music resonating inside the shop fits the aesthetic.

 _Can’t Take My Eyes off You by Franki Valli,_ Renjun distinguishes the song and soon finds himself humming the tune.

“So…” Jaemin’s demeanor is completely free of the usual confidence he carries, gaze fleeting between Renjun and the shelves behind him, “What do you think?” Jaemin gnaws on his lower lip once and if he was daring Renjun would say that the actor seemed like he wanted to gain his approval. 

“I haven’t been here for five minutes. I don’t think I can form a definite opinion on the place yet.” He says and doesn’t bother to hide his fascination. On the place or Jaemin, who knows?

Jaemin realizes his point and laughs. Renjun picks up how shaky his laughter sounds almost like he was relieved yet seemed awkward. In a desperate need to lighten the mood, Renjun lightly bumps their shoulders and jokes. 

“What’s got you so worked up? It’s just me, Na.”

However, Jaemin’s expression changes into something he couldn’t read. Lips pulled on a barely-there smile as his gaze fell on the ground, an indecipherable emotion present in his eyes, and the expression lasts only for a moment.

“I don’t think it’s _just_ you.”

Jaemin leaves no room for Renjun to react to his words as he changes the topic in a beat. If Jaemin brushes it off then he’ll do the same, besides Renjun has no idea how to respond, it’s easier for him to leave it at that.

“Let’s look around then! I’ll make sure you’ll end up loving this place,” Jaemin purses his lips thoughtfully, “or at least like it.”

It seemed that Jaemin didn’t just like the bookstore, Renjun could assume that it’s important to him due to him being set on making the shorter actor become fond of the place. Renjun thinks if the shop is a personal favorite of Jaemin’s then he’s certain that it’s hardly going to be a challenge for the taller male to make him like it. 

  
  


“We can borrow any of the books here. The owner is pretty lenient about lending them as long as you return it as good as before.”

“But the books wouldn’t be safe if they’re near the drinks.”

“That’s why you have to be careful not to ruin the books you borrowed. Some finish their drinks before getting a book to read but – how do I say this?” Jaemin’s lower lip juts out as he pauses thoughtfully, and creases form on his forehead, indicating how hard he’s thinking. 

“The feeling… no? Ah, I got it!” The taller man’s face breaks into the most adorable expression Renjun has seen on him. If he were to describe the expression, it’s a splitting image to an excited puppy with his ears perked up and tail wagging eagerly.

“Reading while having your favorite drink sets some sort of mood – you know, a feeling?” Jaemin grins when Renjun nods in understanding. “It’s like a really good feeling. Well, for me that is.”

“I get what you’re trying to say but… aren’t we hanging out to get to know each other more? If we end up reading a book then it kinda goes against why we met up today.” 

Jaemin considers his words and Renjun sees the exact moment it registers to the man across him, seeming like a puppy once again but in this moment a sad one whose ears droop in disappointment. 

“You’re right.” 

“What’s with you getting sad over that? We can do it next time.” 

The words slip out before Renjun could think them over but he doesn’t end up regretting when it earns another cute reaction from the younger. Jaemin perks up again and Renjun could almost see the imaginary tail behind him wagging.

“There will be a next time?” He asks, eyes sparkling with hope.

“Sure, cheer up already.”

Jaemin lets out an exaggerated _‘yeeeeesssss!’_ and his silly antic causes Renjun to shake his head out of fondness. Surprisingly, Jaemin’s childish tendencies have an endearing side to it but it wasn’t like he doesn’t find him cute already. 

A waitress delivers their drinks and Renjun stares at Jaemin’s drink with interest and mild confusion painting his face. He wonders, _is that even drinkable?_ He didn’t accompany the younger man while ordering, as he opted to wander around admiring the old-fashion interior of the shop and checking out the books available which is why he has no idea what even is the coffee that Jaemin ordered.

Jaemin notices and brings down his gaze on the cup. The stark contrast between his hand and the color of the drink intrigues Renjun even more.

“What’s that?”

“This is what I usually order. Wanna try it?”

Renjun has never been a big fan of coffee since he prefers tea over it on any day but he ends up indulging his curiosity. The bitterness of the drink immediately attacks his taste buds and Renjun physically recoils. He shoves the drink back into Jaemin’s hand, face still twisted in disgust as the bitter taste remains on his mouth. 

“I assume it’s not your cup of tea?” 

His left eye twitches at the horrible pun. Jaemin has questionable tastes from his coffee preference up to the jokes he cracks. “It’s abominable. You call that rubber-flavored drink, coffee?”

“It still _is_ coffee.”

“It’s unhealthy.”

“And you’re not the first one to tell me that.” Jaemin proceeds to drink his coffee but offers reassuringly after, “Hey, don’t worry. I rarely drink this anymore so wipe off that scowl on your face.”

“I’m not scowling.” Renjun retorts, “And who said I was worried?”

“Then you’re pouting. You look like this.” Jaemin does what he thinks is an imitation of the other that hardly impresses Renjun.

“I’m starting to regret that I’m here.” _I’m lying, I don’t regret it one bit._

“Sorry, I couldn’t help it. It’s fun to tease you.” His playful grin turns sincere as he speaks in a softer tone, “I’m glad that you agreed to spend time with me today.”

Renjun masks the fluttering in his stomach through a display of nonchalant interest. “I’d be offended if you weren’t. My presence is exclusive if you must know.”

Jaemin discards his bucket hat as though he had the need to properly look at Renjun. Suddenly, unable to hold the intensity of Jaemin’s gaze, Renjun rests back into his chair as if the distance would help calm the frenzy of butterflies in his stomach. In response, Jaemin props his arms and leans towards the table, eyes never leaving Renjun.

“Actually ever since the first time we met, I’ve always wanted to hang out with you like this.”

Renjun keeps his outward appearance cool, he’s a good actor after all. “Really?”

“Do I look like I’m lying?” 

“No.” Renjun responds honestly.

Crescent moons replace Jaemin’s eyes as he smiles at him, obviously content at his compliant answer. Renjun ignores how his heart feels like it’s going to jump out of his chest any moment now, perfectly schooling a casual kind of curiosity on his face. 

“Why?”

“I knew about you ever since you appeared in the indie film directed by Kim Dongyoung. It wasn’t as popular as his other movies but that one is my favorite of his and it’s where I found out about you.”

“Are you talking about _Regular Irregular_ where I was a hallucination?”

Kim Dongyoung’s _Regular Irregular_ was the stepping stone of his career. His appearance on the movie led to numerous offers and casting that was the most he received as a newbie actor for a year. It was also the most challenging role he took up to his present career, the experience remains close to his heart despite years having passed.

Most casual movie viewers have not heard of it in contrast to actual fans of the director. So, the possibility that Jaemin saw it was unexpected for him. Personally, it is also his favorite but not because he was a lead cast in it, rather it explored themes that were not commonly done in the industry. It intrigues Renjun if Jaemin was pertaining to the same movie.

“Yeah, that one!” Jaemin nods his head eagerly. “Technically, you played two roles there. The hallucination and the real person. I remember that I was really amazed how you pulled it off when the person was so different from the hallucination.”

Renjun wasn’t a stranger to praises about his acting and Youngho’s spontaneous compliments somehow conditioned him to receive such encouraging words positively. Renjun gathered nothing but praise for his performance in that indie film because playing a character with two identities wasn’t an easy task for any actor.

Yet why is it that with Jaemin his heart stutters and tongue twists into a knot?

“I wasn’t _that_ good.” He manages to utter and looks away. Jaemin’s eyes were practically sparkling in excitement. 

“You were. Honestly speaking, you were kind of a show stealer. I barely focused on the main character.”

Renjun coyly accepts his praises, mouth unconsciously forming a pout. “Thanks, I guess...” 

“Aww, no need to be shy! I’m only telling the truth here.”

And Renjun doesn’t even need to look deep into Jaemin to know if the other man is true to his words. It didn’t take Renjun long since they started working to realize that Jaemin is like an open book with his emotions. He wears his heart on his sleeves, unapologetic in a way that Renjun finds admirable since he tends to be secretive of his own true feelings.

“You give me too much credit. I was barely an actor back then.”

Averting his eyes towards the table, Renjun remembers that his drink has been left untouched for the duration it was brought to the table up to this point of their conversation. He picks it up and glowers upon realizing that it’s gone lukewarm but he drinks it anyway.

“That’s why I was impressed. It was your first movie and yet you’re already skilled in acting.” As though he could read the confusion on the slight furrow of the shorter male’s brows, Jaemin quickly adds, “I watched your interview clip and you mentioned it was your first time acting in a movie that’s why I know.”

“That was three years ago. How come you remember it?” Renjun tightens his grasp around his drink, both hands wrapped around the mug.

“In that interview, you said your dream to express your art and that through acting you are able to accomplish that dream. I remember watching it for the first time and thinking, _he’s really passionate about being an actor,_ and it really just struck me that’s why I remember.”

At this point, Renjun surrenders to the way his heart beats upon discovering that Jaemin knows about a moment in his life he holds a special attachment to. It was the only interview that allowed Renjun to be his most candid in answering about his passion and dream of performing, learning that his honest words remained with Jaemin makes him feel as though his co-star truly sees him.

That he doesn’t only see Huang Renjun, the actor, but also Renjun himself.

“Can I be honest with you?” Jaemin asks with a quiet voice. 

Renjun hears the slight tremble of his voice, a vulnerability in being honest that Renjun understands, so he offers Jaemin an encouraging smile to continue. Somehow, it manages to lessen Jaemin’s nerves and his shoulders visibly ease out from tension. Renjun briefly ponders that it’s quite refreshing to witness a side of Jaemin that’s not his default confident persona.

It reminds Renjun that no matter how perfect are the characters Jaemin acts as, in reality he’s also a human, same as anyone else.

“I didn’t become an actor for myself. I started acting because I knew it would make my mother happy. It was her dream, you know? She used to dream about starring in blockbuster movies and popular television dramas but she never got her big break. Eventually, I learned to love acting but I’ve always wanted to do something else.”

Jaemin lifts his head to meet Renjun’s attentive stare.

He wears the same expression Renjun failed to discern earlier but this time it stays. It slips Renjun’s mind that he has to respond, too focused on Jaemin’s eyes and trying to pinpoint what exactly is the look he’s giving him. At his convenience, Jaemin doesn’t wait for a response, seemingly preoccupied as well with the thoughts in his head.

“That’s why I’m different from you. You’re amazing, Renjun.”

Renjun’s heart pounds achingly inside his chest. 

“It doesn’t change the fact you’re still a great actor, Jaemin.” He confesses, “I admired you then and will continue admiring you even after that.”

Renjun lightly taps the back of Jaemin’s hand, a tiny gesture of assurance. He’s not in the place to be angry or betrayed by it even if Jaemin has been one of the actors that he looked up to since he started acting. Jaemin could’ve not told him the truth about why he’s an actor, it was his decision to let Renjun know, and it shows he trusts Renjun by being vulnerably honest. 

Despite being an actor is not where Jaemin’s passion lies in, it’s undeniable that he gives a part of himself into his acting. Jaemin might have shot through popularity because of his looks but anyone who’s followed every time he appeared on-screen knows he’s not just a pretty face. And as a fan — although Renjun begrudgingly admits to that — he is a witness of Jaemin’s dedication throughout his career.

Renjun doesn’t think any of those weren’t real, not when Jaemin is the most genuine person he’s met.

“Thank you. It might not look like it but that means a lot to me.” Jaemin spares him a small but earnest smile.

“But… what is it that you wanted to do?”

“Rather than being the one in front of the camera, I prefer to be behind it. I really liked photography since I was a kid but I never got the chance to pursue it professionally. Acting went well for me and before I knew it, I had offers coming from every direction.”

 _Oh,_ this is the first time Renjun heard about Jaemin’s interest in photography.

“Then talk about photography or other things you enjoy doing. I want to know more about Jaemin, not the actor, but Na Jaemin himself.”

“It’s going to be your turn to talk later, okay?”

“Of course.”

Maybe it won’t hurt to let his guards down around Jaemin.

**Na Jaemin** **  
** _jaehyun wont let me post the pic_ _ㅠㅠ_ _  
_ _so im sending it to you!!_ _  
_ _[attachment: 1 Image]_ _  
_ _maybe you could post it??_

 **Huang Renjun** **  
** _no thanks_

 **Na Jaemin** **  
** _meanie!!_ _  
_ _at least save it so you have a memory of our hang out today <3 _

**Huang Renjun** **  
** _goodnight jaemin_

 **Na Jaemin** **  
** _so cold </3 _ _  
_ _you’re not the renjun i was with earlier_ _  
_ _what did you do to him? renjun blink if you need help!_

 **Huang Renjun** **  
** _we’re texting you idiot_ _  
_ _i had fun today_

 **Na Jaemin** **  
** _me too_ _  
_ _goodnight renjun :)_

  
  


*

  
  


Na Jaemin is undeniably charming.

 _And a flirt._ Renjun notes as he watches Jaemin charm a production staff from a corner. What’s interesting about this is he can see that Jaemin is sincere. Honey drips from his mouth with every compliment but there is no doubt he means it. Renjun had experienced it himself and the memory never fails to tug a string of his heart.

“You were watching me.” 

“That’s a bold claim, Na.” Renjun quips. 

Jaemin smiles, white pearls on full display and gums peeking out. Renjun noticed he’s been doing that a lot. As if Renjun’s mere presence is enough to warrant a grin from Jaemin. He doesn’t ponder over this observation and deems the thought ridiculous. Jaemin is the face of a top-selling toothpaste brand in South Korea, _of course_ , a smile is easily prompted on his lips.

“You didn’t deny it though.” 

Jaemin’s response earns an eye-roll from Renjun which he merely raises an eyebrow at. The young actor hands him a cup that he’s holding then Renjun realizes his other hand was occupied as well. He takes it from Jaemin, registers the warm touch, _coffee?_ And mutters a soft _‘thank you’_ before shifting the attention away from him.

“Shouldn’t it be normal to be watched for you? We’re actors after all.”

“Then you admit that you were watching me.”

“What is it to you if I was?” Renjun questions sharply. The longer this conversation goes, the more flustered gets.

“You’re cute when angry.”

Heat rises to his face and Renjun shoves Jaemin so the young actor won’t be able to see the flushing of his cheeks. Jaemin stumbles slightly but he doesn’t feel an ounce of regret towards his action.

“Hey, careful! You’re going to spill my coffee!”

Renjun spares the drink a distasteful glance before directing it towards Jaemin.

“I was only being honest.”

“Save your flirting for the cameras, Jaemin.”

Renjun knows he’s being honest but that doesn’t mean he’s going to dwell on it. He takes a sip from his cup to avoid further talking. A familiar taste floods his mouth that causes Renjun to closely look at the drink Jaemin gave him. His brows furrow slightly as he confirms that it is indeed jasmine tea. Renjun turns his head to the taller male beside him, a questioning stare.

“Did the staff prepare this?”

“No. I bought that and this.” Jaemin holds up his cup. “We’re shooting earlier than usual today so I thought I’d bring you a drink.”

“Ah, you didn’t have to but thanks.” 

“I wanted to.” Jaemin smoothly says. 

In hindsight, nothing would have prepared Renjun from the smile that Jaemin gives him when the tall actor finally turned to face him. Renjun breaks away from the actor’s expecting gaze, feeling shy all of the sudden for catching himself staring at the taller actor. From his peripheral vision he sees the corner of Jaemin’s mouth quirk, he says nothing but Renjun knows Jaemin is enjoying getting him flustered. 

Choosing not to reply, Renjun continues his drink while it’s still warm as the two of them wait for the staff to finish preparing today’s shoot. Jaemin stays beside him silently drinking his coffee. Yerim spots them from afar and waves in their direction, Renjun returns a smile while Jaemin beckons the actress over. She approaches them wearing a smile he finds suspicious.

Turns out, Renjun confirms his suspicion. “You two seem a lot closer now.” 

“We are.” Jaemin glances at him, seeking agreement. “Even Renjun here can’t resist my charms.”

“Really? Is that true, Renjun?”

“Yeah, whatever he says.”

There’s something about the mischievous twinkle in Yerim’s eyes that bothers Renjun as she gives him and Jaemin a glance. Much to his relief, Jaemin bounds over to Jisung when the younger actor greets them as he passes by. Renjun watches Jaemin latch on Jisung whose expression is a mix of dread and defeat.

“I heard you went out with Jaemin.”

“I did. He’s far from the image I had of him before.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

Jaemin attempts to plant a kiss on Jisung’s cheek and the scene uncannily reminds Renjun of his own best friend. A fond smile graces his lips and he shakes his head at the question of the actress. “Not really. It’s more of the opposite.”

“Jaemin is fun to have around. He makes sure everyone is comfortable around each other and comes across as a friend to all but he’s actually a private person. I worked in a few dramas with him but we barely went out together.” Yerim gives Renjun a knowing look, “If he reached out to you himself then that means _something._ ”

“Something?”

“I’ll leave that for you to figure out.” 

Renjun flushes from his face to his neck. Yerim – much to his embarrassment – notices and smiles innocently as though she’s unaware of the havoc she’s caused within Renjun’s heart.

Before, Renjun wouldn’t believe anyone who’d tell him that Jaemin can tend to be insufferable, that the actor finds joy in annoying others with his overly affectionate actions. In his head, Jaemin is cool and level headed but he knew how to charm people and draw them in. Renjun had built this image of Jaemin that’s just _perfect,_ he’s not sure why he even had it in the first place.

But as he realized when he spent time with the other actor, Jaemin is far from the perfect version of him in his mind.

Jaemin is flirty but he is also nice, he annoys people for his entertainment but he’s also attentive towards others, and Jaemin may be a handful and could come across as obnoxious but Renjun knows he considers the feelings of those around him first, sometimes even before his own.

Even so, Renjun likes Jaemin so when Jaemin asks him if they can hang out again he welcomes the swarm of butterflies in his tummy.

  
  


*

  
  


**Jaemin :]** **  
** _i tagged u on my ig post!!!_

 **Huang Renjun** **  
** _we’re literally in the same place why are you texting me_

 **Jaemin :]** **  
** _and why cant i???_ _  
_ _also follow me back on ig :DDD_

 **Huang Renjun** **  
** _lol let me think about it_

 **Jaemin :]** **  
** DDD: 

**Huang Renjun** **  
** :p **  
  
**

Renjun lifts his head and catches Jaemin who was having his make-up done looking at his way, lips jut out in a pout. He flashes his co-star a cheeky smile before returning his attention back to his phone and opening his Instagram to check Jaemin’s post. He sees the notification that Jaemin indeed tagged him and followed his account.

He toys with the idea of not completing the mutual just to tease the other actor but decides against it. He’ll indulge Jaemin this time. 

**_n_jaemin tagged you in a post._ **

**n_jaemin** went out for brunch with injun before filming spring brings you today! injunnie looks cute in his beret, right? everyone, please remember to dress warmly these days! don’t forget to take care of your health and always remember that jaeminnie loves you~~

**Huang Renjun** **  
** _injun?_

 **Jaemin :]** **  
** _that’s you!!_ _  
_ _thought it was a cute nickname for you_

 **Huang Renjun** **  
** _…okay_

 **Jaemin :]** **  
** _do you like it???_

 **Huang Renjun** **  
** _goodbye nana_

 **Jaemin :]** **  
** _HEY??? COMEBACK_ _  
_ _I CAN SEE YOU_ _  
_ _wait….._ _  
_ _nana ^__^_

  
  


*

  
  


“What the fuck is your problem?!” 

Renjun swings his arm with a controlled force that won’t hurt Jaemin. Well, it won’t hurt _a lot_. His fist grazes Jaemin’s jaw and the other male stumbles back but quickly recovers and throws a punch of his own. 

_“Fuck.”_ Renjun curses. _That actually hurt._

“What is _your_ problem?!” He spats back, in character. 

Renjun then charges towards Jaemin, tackling him into the ground. He pins the taller actor down by his shoulders while straddling his legs. He lands one punch on Jaemin before the latter switches their positions. Renjun acts as though he’s trying to break free from Jaemin’s restraint on his wrists, a snarl deeply marred on his features.

“Get off me!”

“I don’t want to fight you!” Then adds, far less aggressive, “I don’t want you to run away… _again._ ” 

“You’re fucking selfish, do you know that? Eunha is worried about you and you pushed her away.”

“Eunha this, Eunha that, why do you fucking care anyway? Aren’t you glad that I’m not a threat to you? That I’m not fighting you for her attention? I’m willingly removing myself from the picture. Now, leave me alone!” Renjun spats out angrily.

Jaemin’s fist promptly collides with his face. Renjun winces because, _wow, that really fucking hurt,_ and spits to the side. _God,_ he’s going to hate Youngho for convincing them to actually land their punches and use their strength to make it appear as if it was a real fight. No, he can’t hate Youngho for wanting authenticity. The scene needs to be portrayed with raw emotion, it’s not a mere fight between rivals.

In Renjun’s understanding, it’s a cathartic moment for both boys that will deepen their friendship. And possibly lead to something more, _maybe_ , Renjun can’t be sure but he has a hunch the writers are definitely building up the relationship between his and Jaemin’s characters.

“You don’t understand. You don’t understand it at all.”

Renjun scoffs.

“Tell me what I don’t understand.”

“I won’t go this far if I didn’t care about you!” Jaemin yells. “God, you’re more important than my feelings for Eunha. You’re my best friend, Erin.”

 _Wow, his eyes are really expressive._ The thought pops in his head for a moment as he admires the raw emotion Jaemin portrays.

“Stop.”

“It hurts me that you’re distancing yourself again. I don’t even know why you’re acting like this. I can’t just—”

“Stop… I get it. Let me go. I won’t run away.”

The edge of Jaemin’s features softens and Renjun can't control the blush that blooms across his face. Youngho hadn’t specified what kind of atmosphere they should be portraying in this moment where both boys have calmed down, the rush of adrenaline from the fight dispersing in their bloodstream. Only said that he wanted them to try acting it out first and see how they go with it.

Renjun maintains steady eye-contact with Jaemin but he’s uncertain at the mere inches of space between their faces. _His face is so close,_ he quickly buries the thought and searches his mind what’s supposed to happen next. Does he have a line to say that he forgot? What was Jaemin supposed to do? _Oh my god, I forgot. I forgot. I forgot._

His mind goes haywire, suddenly aware of Jaemin’s weight on him, touch burns his skin.

“You can get off me now.” Renjun turns his head to the side, face still flushed.

Jaemin’s eyes widen. He recognizes the genuine flicker of surprise in his reaction that makes Renjun’s stomach stir. “Oh, right.”

“Cut!”

Jaemin throws his body on the ground to his left and Renjun winces at the loud thud of the actor’s fall but can’t be bothered to check as relief floods his entire system. Renjun hears footsteps approaching them in the midst of their ragged breathing, and in a moment his vision of the sky is blocked by Youngho peering down at them. 

“You two looked like you were about to kiss rather than break each other’s faces.” The director grins, “Not what I originally had in mind but it was… fitting somehow. We won’t be retaking this scene. Take a short break to catch your breath you two. We’ll continue the next dialogues in a few.”

Jaemin sits up and glances down at Renjun, features painted by hesitance, he almost looks like he’s flustered. Renjun follows his action and pats off the pieces of grass that are stuck on his uniform, his brain comes up with nothing to say as Jaemin’s unusual awkwardness reaches him, when this atmosphere hasn’t occurred between him and Jaemin before.

Renjun is too aware of Jaemin’s presence beside him, his stare prickles on Renjun’s skin and the older actor buries the urge to cover his face.

Fortunately, it’s not him who shatters the tense silence between them.

“Sorry about the…” Jaemin trails off to a brief punching motion, “I think I put in a little too much strength in it.”

Bewildered, Renjun shakes his head. “It’s fine. I landed a few ones too.”

“Oh, it didn’t hurt at all.” The taller actor comically reassures, wearing a shameless smug grin.

He shoves Jaemin while laughing. “Screw you.”

 _Ah, he’s back to his usual self._ The two of them ease into a comfortable silence as their laughter fades, the air finally free of the tension surrounding them earlier. Renjun doesn’t dwell on the thought in his head that wonders why Jaemin acted that way earlier, rejecting the idea that he was blushing. It wasn’t as though Renjun was any better.

“Hey, want to get dinner together later? After this.”

Renjun catches himself before he mutters yes, recalling that he actually has plans to meet Donghyuck today. “I can’t.”

“Come on, it’s been awhile since we last hung out.” Jaemin’s lips form a pout at Renjun’s immediate rejection. He fixes a compelling imitation of puppy eyes on his expression and Renjun nearly yields, one day he’s sure the reason for his downfall would be having a soft spot for Jaemin.

“I want to but I really can’t. I’m meeting a friend later.” He explains and flashes Jaemin an apologetic smile.

“Oh… I see, hope you have fun.”

Renjun doesn’t miss the disappointment heavily laced in the younger actor’s tone. Not having the heart to resist Jaemin’s kicked-puppy look, he suggests something else. He was never someone who could resist Jaemin anyway, not entirely.

“You can come over to my place if you want to hang out. We can watch this week’s episode together, that is, if you’re free.”

Expectedly, Jaemin brightens up at his suggestion.

“I think I will be. If not, I’ll make sure I am.” 

“Alright. It’s settled.”

“Yeah, can’t wait!”

  
  


“Renjun!”

A body crashes into him and Renjun has to take a step back to balance himself and the other person in his arms. He laughs as Donghyuck starts whining about how much he missed his best friend and presses a sloppy kiss on his temple.

“Enough, Hyuck. That’s disgusting, keep your kisses to your boyfriend.”

Donghyuck pulls back wearing a playful look. 

“Like you can stop me!” He plants another smooch on Renjun’s other cheek.

“Stop!”

Renjun holds Donghyuck by his shoulders and keeps him at a safe distance away from him. “Hyuck, I’m starving. Can you please stop already?”

“Fine.” Donghyuck huffs like a sulking child, “Just because you have Jaemin, you reject my kisses now.”

“Hyuck!” Renjun hisses and looks around the place in fear that someone might have heard them.

He sighs in relief when the other patrons of the restaurant appear too engrossed in their own endeavors and none have recognized them. They settle inside the booth Renjun located at a far corner where they’re hardly spotted. Donghyuck wanted to eat in this restaurant they used to frequent before, they personally know the owner and bless his kind soul for always reserving the same booth for them.

Donghyuck questions, nose pointed up. “Am I wrong?”

“Shut up! There’s nothing going on between me and Jaemin.” Renjun asserts but he doesn’t think his voice is convincing his friend, not even himself.

“Sheesh, _Injun_. Why are you so defensive?” Donghyuck leans back on his chair, a knowing grin on his lips. “But you want there to be something.”

“I don’t. Don’t put words into my mouth.”

“Sure.” Donghyuck’s tone lilts in the way Renjun knows he doesn’t believe him. 

However, he doesn’t do anything to convince him otherwise. That’ll just make him seem bothered when he is, in fact, not bothered by the notion that there is nothing between him and Jaemin, they’re co-workers and friends only. _Keep lying and maybe someday it will be true,_ a voice mocks in his head.

Fortunately for Renjun, a waiter decides to appear at the right time and Donghyuck doesn’t get the chance to press on. They order their usual dishes and Renjun almost relaxes in his seat, thinking that the other male had finally dropped the topic about his co-star but he was wrong. 

“Tell me about Jaemin.” Donghyuck casually says then drinks from his glass.

Renjun’s brows furrow. “Why?”

“Just curious.” Donghyuck smiles innocently. “You don’t easily warm up to people, let alone frequently hang out with them outside work. I know you, Jun.”

Renjun hesitates at first. There is _a lot_ to say about Jaemin, he doesn’t even know where to start.

“Jaemin is easy to get along with. I don’t understand it myself but there’s something about him that makes it easy for me to open up. Somehow, I feel so comfortable around him, I don’t have a specific reason why, it just feels that way…”

Donghyuck stares at him anticipatingly as he trailed off. Renjun swallows visibly, throat suddenly dry at the realization that occurred to him. 

“It’s almost like with Xuxi. Jaemin reminds me of him.”

“He’s like Lucas?” Donghyuck leans forward, expressing more interest at the mention of Renjun’s ex-boyfriend.

Renjun nods slowly, not knowing what to feel about it.

Donghyuck props an elbow on the table, chin in his palm. “That explains why you’re already gone.”

“Hah, that’s not funny.” He flatly says.

“It’s okay to admit you’re attracted to him, Renjun. You’re not twelve.” Renjun pouts at the jab while Donghyuck pinches his cheek. 

It’s not even mere attraction anymore that’s why it terrifies Renjun to acknowledge what he’s feeling, more so admit it out loud. Renjun indulges in the attention Jaemin showers him more than he lets on, sometimes he forgets that he shouldn’t be enjoying too much. Renjun can’t afford to get used to it, he can’t afford putting his heart on the line again.

“I’m scared.”

Donghyuck’s features soften in understanding, “No matter how much of Jaemin that reminds you of Lucas, Jaemin isn’t him.”

“I know. It’s just… weird.” Renjun mindlessly toys with the napkin.

Jaemin’s similarities with Lucas isn’t the thing that bothers him. What bothers Renjun is the familiarity of how he feels comfortable with Jaemin, he doesn’t even realize he brought his walls down around the younger actor, hasn’t realized when he became so fond of him.

“Don’t think much about it. You wouldn’t want to ruin what you have going with Jaemin, right?”

 _Easier said than done_ , Renjun agrees nonetheless. “Yeah…”

“That’s enough. Let’s not talk about boys.” Donghyuck nonchalantly says and waves his hand dismissively.

Renjun scoffs lightly as he mutters, “You’re the one who brought it up.”

“And I am also the one who says we’re changing the topic.”

*

After the first time Renjun watched the week’s episode of their drama with Jaemin, it’s become a routine of theirs to watch each episode at his apartment if their schedule allows them to. Surprisingly, they missed only one episode despite their packed schedule. Jaemin pointed out that the universe is conspiring to get them to spend more time together, and needless to say, it makes Renjun’s heart flutter.

“Today’s ratings are really high.”

Renjun scrolls through countless articles and posts on his phone. The episode tonight showed his fight with Jaemin and as he expected it garnered a lot of attention. He clicks into a post that talks highly about the scene, pride blooming in his chest as he reads that the user hadn’t been that interested at the beginning of the drama but the acting of the lead actors managed to get them invested.

**_[THREAD] SPRING BRINGS YOU - EPISODE 10_ **

  1. **_00YSH_xxx_** _I find fight scenes in teen dramas very cringey but they executed this one well. I knew Na Jaemin was a great actor but Huang Renjun impressed me a lot. I might check out his other dramas once this finishes airing lol_
  2. **_chwe99_** _not a big fan of coming-of-age dramas but theres something about spring brings you that has me hooked and after this episode i realized that its huang renjun’s acting. his chemistry with na jaemin is very interesting too kkkk_



_…_

“A lot of people are talking about our fight scene.” He tells Jaemin who was sitting beside him, also on his phone.

Jaemin taps his shoulder and holds his phone for Renjun to see, “Look at this.”

Renjun’s heart leaps to his throat once his eyes land on the title of the post.

**_[TALK] Am I the only one who thought Soomin would kiss Erin at the end of their fight kkkkk_ **

_image1.jpeg_

_DO YOU LOOK AT YOUR BEST FRIEND LIKE THIS?_

_image2.jpeg_

_HELP??? THATS TOO CLOSE WAAAAAY TOO CLOSE_

_whydidnttheykissTT.gif_

  1. _[+650, -10] its angled in the same way romance movies angle their kissing scenes lol_
  2. _[+532, -20] their unresolved sexual tension is so obvious kkkk_
  3. _[+405, -6]_ _why root for the main couple when you can root for the two guys instead?? hahaha_
  4. _[+380, -25]_ _tonight’s episode felt like an epiphany for me i used to like erin for eunha but now my heart belongs to erin and soomin_
  5. _[+250, -100]_ _soomin literally said they are best friends on the episode and friends fights sometimes honestly people are so obsessed making everything romantic lately_
  6. _[+250, -0]_ _who said best friends cant kiss lol leave if u dont agree this post isnt for u_



“They’re rooting for us to end up together.”

Renjun tears his attention away Jaemin’s phone, heart thumping against his ribs, mind swirling with thoughts to _why_ would the actor show him a post like this. He reels back, logic finding its voice, this is Jaemin. He finds a lot of things interesting. Renjun shouldn’t dwell on it.

“You mean Erin and Soomin. Not us.” He corrects, relieved that his voice sounded steady.

Jaemin doesn’t contradict him but he spares Renjun a certain look that causes his stomach to flip, a look that he’d rather not read into for the safety of his heart. He returns to his own phone, responding to several messages of his friends about the ratings, until all of a sudden Jaemin jumps off the sofa. 

“I have an idea. Let’s celebrate!”

Renjun stares at him with eyes wide in surprise.

“Celebrate?” He echoes dumbly and his heart skids when Jaemin smiles at him fondly, he’ll never get used to it.

“Today’s episode is the highest rating! It should be celebrated!” 

Jaemin doesn’t give Renjun the chance to protest because the next thing he knows he’s slipping through a hoodie and pulling a mask on his face while Jaemin relentlessly drags him out of the apartment.

Apparently, Jaemin’s idea of celebration was to hit the nearest 24/7 convenience store, buy two tubs of ice cream and a few bottles of beer. An odd combination that he’s worried it would cause them dental or gastric problems. Renjun watches Jaemin buzz with energy; he has no idea where it’s coming from at this time of the night as they loiter in the frozen section of the store.

“I have a question for you that might change our friendship _forever_.” Jaemin emphasizes on the last word, tone ridiculously solemn.

Renjun gives him a tired look and sighs exasperatingly, already used to his dramatic flairs given the excessive time he spends with Jaemin.

“What is it?” Still, Renjun humors him. 

“Do you like strawberry flavor?”

“It’s fine.” Renjun’s brow raises in question, “Do you like it?”

Renjun refrains himself from questioning Jaemin’s sobriety over this matter because the taller male seems like he’s extremely serious about it. _Does he not like strawberries or something?_ He slides the chest freezer open and reaches for a strawberry popsicle and holds it out to Jaemin, carefully observing the younger’s reaction.

Jaemin’s nose scrunches up in distaste and answers strongly, “No.”

“So, if I told you that I like strawberry… we won’t be friends anymore?” Renjun puts the popsicle back inside and takes a tub of cookies and cream instead.

Jaemin moves to place the tub in their basket as Renjun takes out another one, body moving on auto-pilot as his attention falls on the shorter man beside him. “Of course not! I would judge you for it but I was joking earlier. I won’t let that or anything ruin how close we are now.”

“If you say so.” Renjun shrugs in spite of the fluttering in his tummy.

“What do you think about grabbing chips?” Jaemin lifts his gaze from the basket to Renjun, eyes brimming with mischief and a grin indicating that he already made up his mind.

“Jaemin—”

Renjun fails to finish his sentence as Jaemin impatiently drags him to the snacks aisle, free hand securely wrapped around his smaller one. When they arrive at the aisle Jaemin keeps holding his hand for a moment longer and Renjun dwells on the lingering warmth when the other lets go. 

Jaemin dunks a variety of chips and sweets in their basket, then he brings it up once he’s done and Renjun stares down at the items it contains.

“Sicheng is going to kill me if he finds out about this. I’m on a diet.”

“Come on, Injun. It’s only this once. Trust me this won’t affect your diet much.”

It’s past 11 o’clock when they arrive back in his apartment and Renjun is relieved that he has nothing scheduled for tomorrow. Sicheng already nags him on a daily basis, he won’t want to receive more because his manager was met by the sight of scattered bottles of beer in the morning to pick him up and Renjun’s very prominent low alcohol tolerance. 

_Sicheng please don’t be disappointed in me,_ Renjun thinks while downing his fourth glass.

On the other hand, Jaemin appears to be holding his liquor quite well, no signs of blushing or slurred words when Renjun feels his face flush. 

“Remember your first scene with Jisung?” 

Renjun makes sure to pour Jaemin a full glass. He feels a bit cheated on the amount of beer he’s drinking when Jaemin keeps entertaining him with stories, “What about it?”

“He thought you were intimidating. Tiny but intimidating.” Jaemin didn’t let the opportunity to poke about his height pass, “So, he was really anxious filming with you that he messed up a lot. It was funny because he had to act tough but he apologizes to you instantly the cameras got cut.”

The memory causes him to snort, in fact, he does remember that scene clearly. Renjun found the mishaps hilarious and the younger actor absolutely adorable, sometimes he wonders how Jisung got casted to act like a stereotypical bad boy when in reality he’s everything but that. 

“That explains why he was stiff around me at first.” Renjun pouts.

“You two get along better now. He’s really cute, isn’t he?”

“He’s a tall baby. I like Jisung better than you.”

“And yet who are you with?” Jaemin questions with a challenging tone, eyebrow raising as though he knows he’s pushing Renjun’s buttons.

Renjun doesn’t look away even with Jaemin slowly invading his personal space, newfound boldness surging inside him as he keeps his gaze level. Jaemin’s eyes briefly drop to his lips and when it flickers back to meet his the air suddenly feels electric, charged with a palpable energy Renjun is hesitant to touch, afraid of what could happen next.

However, the moment is disturbed by his phone vibrating aggressively on the table.

As though Renjun has broken from a trance, he blinks numerous times before he moves to grab his phone in a haste and sees a missed call from Donghyuck. The device continues to vibrate in his hand as an onslaught of messages from his best friend keep coming. Nimble fingers type a response as Jaemin peers over his shoulder and reads his conversation with Donghyuck.

“Is that the idol Haechan?” Jaemin cocks his head to look at the shorter man, “I didn’t know you were friends with him.”

Renjun narrows his eyes at Jaemin for catching him snooping on his phone which Jaemin merely smiles innocently in return.

“His name is Donghyuck,” Then adds without much thought, “and you still don’t know a lot of things about me.” 

“Tell me the things that I don’t know then. I want to know everything about you, Huang Renjun.”

“Spare me from your heart-fluttering lines, Na. There aren’t any cameras around.”

“But I mean it!”

“Fine. I’ll tell you one thing.” Renjun hums thoughtfully. “I used to dream of becoming a singer. Sometimes, I still want to but I also love being an actor.”

Jaemin _oh’s_ cutely while nodding, “Like an idol?”

“Yeah, like an idol. I have Donghyuck to reach that dream for me.”

Renjun doesn’t mean to sound wistful. Sure, Donghyuck and him used to imagine themselves performing side by side on the same stage, achieving their dreams one by one together, but Renjun is happy where he is now. He loves acting. Becoming an idol is an attained dream in a different reality, or that’s what he likes to think, among the endless possibilities the universe offers.

“I’m sure your voice sounds pretty.”

His statement amuses Renjun, “Pretty? That’s a way to describe it even if you haven’t heard me sing.”

“I have a feeling that someone as pretty as you must have a pretty voice too.” Jaemin says with a smooth voice. “Hearing you sing will prove it.”

Renjun can’t help but laugh at Jaemin’s blatant flirting. “And you don’t call yourself a player?”

Jaemin smiles, charming yet different from the ones he wears in front of the cameras, something he only sees when Jaemin is with him. Renjun finishes his glass in one drink then hums the tune of a slow song from a band Jaemin hasn’t stopped talking about recently. When recognition crosses Jaemin’s face, Renjun smiles and starts singing, losing himself in the emotion of the song. 

“I was wrong. You have a beautiful voice.”

Renjun’s eyes flutter open, unaware that he closed them, and finds Jaemin staring at him. Flustered, he averts his eyes from the other and his entire being burns hot. Renjun won’t last long under Jaemin’s intense gaze, he’s already at his limit, if he stays here any longer he’s sure he’ll combust.

He stands up pointedly not meeting the puzzled stare Jaemin throws him, “I’m gonna go out for air. Wanna come with?”

Not waiting for a response, Renjun starts walking to the glass door that leads to the balcony, slightly swaying on his steps. Jaemin is quick to hold his arm to steady him and he flashes him a small smile of appreciation. The night breeze welcomes them like a cold blanket as they walk out and stand by the metal rails.

Renjun gazes at the vast city stretching before them, city lights making up for the lack of stars in the night sky, he’s stared at this sight countless times already but it never ceases to mesmerize him. He glances at Jaemin who he catches marvelling the city, unknowingly a smile graces his lips, and he associates constellations to the flickering lights reflecting in Jaemin’s eyes.

Jaemin looks at him, and as weird as it sounds, Renjun would swim in the universe within his eyes.

“Can I ask you something?”

“You’re already asking me.” Renjun smiles teasingly, “Yeah. Shoot.”

Hesitation crosses Jaemin’s face momentarily and Renjun grows curious. _What’s he nervous about?_ “Have you… dated before? Been in a serious relationship?”

Renjun couldn’t help the fascinated chuckle that tumbles out. “What kind of question is that? Just like you, I have.”

His response seems to have flipped a switch in Jaemin as the bashfulness completely slips away, his typical air of confidence returning.

“How did you know? You’re obviously interested in me.” Jaemin smirks.

Even with the alcohol in his system, Renjun feels heat creep up his neck and spread across his face, at least Jaemin wouldn’t know that he’s blushing because of him. “Dream on. Don’t you think it’s unbelievable that South Korea’s most sought actor is a sad virgin who hasn’t dated anyone?”

“Boo. You’re making fun of me.” Jaemin pouts which earns a light giggle.

Renjun doesn’t know where his confidence comes from, if it’s because he’s tipsy or the funny feeling in his chest has been there since he caught Jaemin looking at him earlier, whichever it is Renjun goes lax and leans his weight on Jaemin. He lets his head fall on Jaemin’s shoulder and doesn’t miss the taller stiffen faintly before he adjusts so Renjun’s head is lying comfortably on him.

“I had one relationship before I became an actor. A boyfriend.” He turns slightly to see Jaemin’s reaction, “Bet you didn’t expect that.”

Jaemin smiles kindly, “I am in no place to judge.”

“Boo.” Renjun childishly whines but a smile tugs on his mouth as though he expected that response. “And I thought I could finally expose to the public that you’re actually an asshole.”

“I’m sorry to spoil your plans.” Renjun clearly hears the fondness in Jaemin’s tone.

“His name’s Lucas. We lasted for four years.”

It’s probably the alcohol talking, or Renjun simply goes with the feeling that he can tell Jaemin about his previous relationship, that he can trust the younger with something he rarely shares to other people. Oddly, Renjun has always harbored this sort of trust in Jaemin, a conviction that he will listen to him even if he talks about the silliest nonsensical things.

Renjun lays his heart bare in the open, vulnerable and honest with Jaemin.

“You’re like him. He was popular, everyone adored him including me, and I didn’t think that he would be interested in me. The only common thing we shared was that we’re both Chinese.” He pauses to laugh, “But he was the one who kept talking to me but I confessed first. I still remember the stupidly cute grin on his face.”

“I can see that you really liked him.”

 _I loved him,_ Renjun sighs. 

“We ended in good terms, I guess? That doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt though. Lucas promised me so much but in the end he couldn’t… I held onto those promises, I _believed_ in them with my whole heart, and gained my strength in them.”

“What did he promise you?” Jaemin asks quietly.

“He promised me that he’ll stay with me as I reach all of my dreams. Funny thing is he left before my career even started.” Renjun can’t find it in himself to laugh.

“Is that why you’re afraid to fall in love again?”

The question surprises Renjun. He lifts his head to look at Jaemin and meets the younger man’s eyes, sincere and not accusing.

“Maybe.” Renjun answers honestly. “Besides, I want to focus on establishing my career. Love can come and find me later.”

_“What if love already found you again?”_

“Huh? I didn’t hear you.”

Jaemin gives him a tight-lipped smile instead.

“You know, when you play nothing but lead roles in romcoms you eventually lose interest in romance. It affected my relationships and at some point it all just felt bland. Isn’t it ironic? For someone who’s always the guy pursuing love on television, he hasn’t actually felt something as strong as you did.” Jaemin’s expression darkens, a somber look as his gaze falls on his fiddling hands. “Maybe that’s why I find it easy to stay here.”

“Stay where?”

“Stay acting characters who are mainly caught up with chasing the girl they like.”

“I don’t think that’s bad. We all chase love in our lives, just in different ways.” Renjun says with a determined look, “Also you’re like — the perfect boyfriend anyone can have so you perfectly fit those roles. Even if you end up falling out of love in your actual relationships. It happens. That doesn’t mean it’s the end or the last time you’re going to experience love. Oh my gosh, I’m rambling. Sorry, I get all chatty when I drink quite a lot.”

“I don’t mind. It’s cute.”

And there he goes again with _that_ look, rich brown orbs glinting with adoration, and lips pulled into a soft smile that Renjun has grown familiar with. Renjun chews on his bottom lip, unsure of what to do with the attention Jaemin pours him, unsure if it’s the alcohol in his body that’s drawing him closer to the taller male. 

Jaemin’s stare trails down to his lips, lingering as the taller brings his face closer to him, his eyes flutter shut before he knows it. However, Renjun feels a warm pair of lips press against his forehead.

Jaemin pulls back gazing at him tenderly, “Let’s get you to bed.”

  
  


**Nana** **  
** _hey i had to leave early so i didn’t wake you up_ _  
_ _if you’re feeling dizzy reheat the tea i made for you_ _  
_ _see you tomorrow!! ^__^_

  
  


*

On a night when Jaemin called out of the blue and reasoned that he wanted to hear his voice, Renjun accepted the reality that he might be irrevocably in love with Na Jaemin.

A part of him has known all along that the frequent frenzies of butterflies and stuttering of his heart is because of his feelings for Jaemin and not some sort of heart condition. Renjun once tried to fool himself into it but he knows the sensations all too well. Pretending not to be in love with the boy who had nothing but love to give taught him he can’t run away from it.

Lucas was a boy full of love yet a time came where he couldn’t give Renjun anymore.

Dating was the last thing in Renjun’s mind since he became an actor with the heartbreak of his past still a fresh wound, he put all his energy and devotion into honing his acting skills. Soon enough, Renjun puts all the pain behind him and becomes a rising star in the industry. He creates a rule to separate his work from romance, doesn’t even think about the idea of falling for a fellow actor.

But as soon as he met Jaemin, the actor immediately became an exception. 

Breaking all the rules he set, Renjun started dreaming once in a while again, mind drifting to places he once swore not to set foot. He dreams about brilliant full smiles, crescent moons for eyes, strong arms that feel warm and secure wrapped around him, a soothing deep voice to lull him into sleep and welcome him to a new day. Renjun dreams about having Jaemin stay in his life.

However, reality wakes him up from this little fantasy.

**n_jaemin** dinner with jiin _noona!_ remember not to skip your meals, everyone!

 **liucolii** missed eating out with you. catch up again soon!

 **n_jaemin** @liucolii yes, _noona! :D_

Out of pure curiosity, Renjun clicks on the name of the unfamiliar user. The profile of the actress Jaemin starred in two romantic comedies is displayed on the screen of his phone and Renjun feels something weigh heavily on his chest. _Curiosity killed the cat,_ he thinks grimly while looking through her feed, occasionally stopping on a few posts that included Jaemin.

Some of the posts date back to years before Renjun even met Jaemin. 

Renjun tosses his phone to the side before he makes the mistake of liking an old photo that has Jaemin tagged. On the sofa, _of course_ , he can’t afford a new one and doesn’t want Sicheng to scold him for accidentally breaking it.

He huffs. A storm of thoughts looming in his mind.

Perhaps, Renjun was too absorbed in this tiny bubble which fit only him and Jaemin that it never occurred to him who else is part of Jaemin’s life. Definitely, Jaemin has met so many people in his years working in the industry that he befriended and grew distant with. 

What is the assurance it won’t happen to them?

The fact that there is no absolute certainty scares Renjun. Lucas once made him believe that he will stay by his side, promised that he will be with him but those sweet words led to nothing but dust and broken pieces of his heart. Renjun never thought that Lucas would leave him and despite his dedication as a lover, the boy still walked out his life.

What makes Jaemin an exception?

*

Erin thought staying as Soomin’s close friend would be enough.

He was a fool to think so. 

He’ll never stop wanting to be closer to Soomin, closer than they are now, closer until there’s no space left. Closer to Soomin’s heart.

It wasn’t his intention to avoid Jaemin.

Renjun doesn’t even realize that he had been avoiding the other actor until a few cast members started asking about it. Since when had Jaemin following him around like an excited puppy become a normal sight for them? Even Youngho noticed the weird atmosphere between him and Jaemin, it was obvious in the way he commented on them whenever they filmed a scene together.

“Renjun, you look too tense.”

“I need you to act more natural, Jaemin.”

“Renjun, you have to look at Jaemin while saying your lines. Why can’t you look him in the eye?”

“Cut! Both of you are painfully awkward. We have to retake _again_.”

And it’s probably his fault that even Jaemin, the least awkward person Renjun knows, acts like he’s balancing on a tight rope around him, teetering on the line between friendly and distant. Renjun had been the one to distance himself from the younger even if he didn’t mean to, and Jaemin is merely following his actions, most likely thinking that he doesn’t want to talk to him. 

Fortunately, they still manage through filming of each scene even if he ignores Jaemin as soon as the cameras stop rolling. Though they can’t keep the charade longer than Renjun had hoped and things soon fall apart as they continue to film more scenes together.

  
  


Renjun remembers his lines as if it was burned in the back of his mind.

How could he not when they’ve been retaking his scene with Jaemin for the past hour? Renjun could sense the crew gradually grow agitated over his numerous slips and monotonous reciting of his lines, even Youngho’s frowning in his seat, his perpetual patience running thin. Jaemin wasn’t in a good state either as if he woke up on the wrong side of his bed. 

“Start on the part where Soomin says he’s jealous. Action!”

The two of them go into position, actions practiced and almost robotic.

“I got jealous.”

Renjun wears a dubious expression as he meets Jaemin’s solemn face. It takes almost everything for him not to look away.

“Min, seriously? I just didn’t know how to talk to you about _it_ , that's why I approached Eunha a lot lately and you shouldn’t worry when I’m with her.”

“No. I was jealous of Eunha. She’s the person you go to and tell your problems, it felt like I was getting replaced when I _am_ your best friend. Haven’t I told you that I want to be there for you? Erin, I’m willing to listen, to understand, and to help you as much as I can. Call me selfish but I just can’t stand the idea of someone else being the closest to you that’s not me.” 

“You can’t say things like that, Min.”

“Why? I’m being honest. I want to tell you the truth.”

Apprehension rises inside Renjun as he mutters his next lines, “Because that means I have to tell you the truth too.”

“What truth?” Jaemin demands. 

Renjun’s skin prickles. _He’s just reciting his lines, he doesn’t know anything._

“The truth that I like—” 

He couldn’t say it.

“Cut!”

“Seriously, guys. What is going on between you two?” Youngho directs both of them a stern look, concern though evident in his tone.

Renjun keeps his head low as he murmurs a quiet apology.

Youngho sighs at the behavior of both lead actors and gestures at the filming crew, “Let’s wrap up for today! Everyone please take this as a chance to rest longer than usual.”

“Now, I don’t know what happened between you and I won’t meddle into it but you need to patch things up or don’t let it get in the way of your work. You’re actors, be professional.” 

“Understood.” They answer in unison.

“I’m expecting better results tomorrow.” Youngho’s stare softens, “Talk to each other, okay?”

The director leaves them alone, obviously intending for the two actors to address the tension between them, Renjun’s skin crawls at the mere thought of explaining, he’s bound to tell a bit of the truth and he can’t do that. Jaemin faces him, determined to talk but Renjun escapes before the taller could even open his mouth. Renjun hates treating Jaemin like this but he’s not ready.

He doesn’t think he’ll ever be ready.

  
  


“Are we leaving now?” Renjun asks Sicheng, foot restlessly tapping on the floor.

Sicheng gives him an apologetic smile, “Sorry, I forgot to hand Jaehyun a few documents. Wait for me here.”

“Also someone wants to talk to you.”

“Who?” Renjun’s blood runs cold. _Jaemin._ “Sicheng, I’m coming with you!”

Sicheng doesn’t look back. Renjun was about to follow his manager until a hand wraps around his wrist that effectively stops him on his tracks. He turns around and freezes when he’s met by Jaemin’s frowning face.

“Don’t even think about running away.” Jaemin’s grip tightens.

“I won’t.” Renjun winces a bit. “Let go of me.”

Jaemin does as told and they stand there wary of each other, tension thick in the air. Renjun tries to swallow the lump that’s building up in his throat in hopes that it would magically give him the courage to say the truth. Jaemin speaks first upon seeing that Renjun won’t budge yet again.

“I figured that it would be better to distance myself for a while but I’ve been wondering… Did I upset you?” He asks straight to the point.

“No. You did nothing wrong.” Renjun denies quickly.

“Then what?” Jaemin’s confusion is tinged with hurt and it sends a pang to Renjun’s chest. 

“It’s… nothing.”

“Injun, you know me. If it was something I did or said, I’ll apologize. Let me understand what caused you to avoid me; why you’re acting like this.” There’s a recognizable desperation in his tone, gaze almost pleading that it almost hurts Renjun physically. He’s ignored the other actor without all of the sudden and yet Jaemin chooses to understand him. 

“This is why it’s hard to tell you.” 

Jaemin scowls, “You’ve been avoiding me for _days._ I think I deserve to know what’s going on.”

“I can’t. I really can’t.” 

Renjun continues to refuse and that seems to have hit the limit of Jaemin’s patience.

“What are you _so_ afraid of?” He presses on, stepping closer to the shorter actor.

Renjun steps back, alarmed. “Just… leave me alone.”

His chest constricts in pain as hurt paints Jaemin’s expression knowing that he caused it. 

“You’re being selfish. I hope you know that.” 

Renjun feels as though a bucket of ice cold water was dumped on him. He never thought he’d hear a harsh and biting tone from Jaemin who’s always spoken softly, gentle and warm. Stomach churning awfully, he feels his entire body shake under the piercing gaze he receives from Jaemin. 

“Jaemin…” He tries to reach out for the taller actor but Jaemin retracts his hand.

“Don’t worry. I won’t let it affect my acting tomorrow. You better keep it professional too.” Jaemin snaps and Renjun flinches visibly.

He watches Jaemin walk away.

  
  


*

  
  


True to what he said, Jaemin kept things professional the next day after their exchange. Renjun had switched also to his complete actor self and got his act together. Youngho was satisfied and didn’t comment on it, although Renjun could see in the concern still present in the director’s eyes that he saw through the ruse he and Jaemin were putting up.

The whole filming crew was given a few days off after and Renjun spent the next day mulling over Jaemin’s words.

 _What are you so afraid of?_ The words ring inside his head endlessly and it’s not because Renjun doesn’t know why it was thrown to him. Jaemin was right about him being selfish, all Renjun was worried about was himself, he didn’t want to get hurt because of Jaemin but instead he ended up hurting him. Renjun had been ignoring that Jaemin hurting him in the future the same way Lucas did is also an uncertainty. He can never say for sure whether Jaemin would walk out or stay in his life. 

But what truly scares him is admitting that he’s fallen in love and even if he does hurt him, Renjun will continue loving Jaemin.

**Hyuckie** **  
** _hey lover boy i assume you haven’t gone on your sns_ _  
_ _check this out_ _allurekr.com/2000/813/na-jaemin _ _  
_ _jaemin mentioned you in his magazine interview_

**CANDID AND REAL NA JAEMIN ON SPRING BRINGS YOU, A TALE OF EXPLORING YOUTH.**

_Q: It’s only been a few episodes but ‘Spring Brings You’ is already loved by the national viewers, how do you feel?_

_NJM: I’m overwhelmed at the amount of attention it’s receiving. However, in retrospect, I’m not surprised that it managed to captivate many hearts. I believe our beloved director, Seo Youngho, is so well-versed in his craft that it should be no surprise the drama caught this much attention. Also, my amazing colleagues contribute greatly to it, without them then I think ‘Spring Brings You’ won’t come across as heartwarming as it does._

_Q: You previously talked about wanting to branch out and try acting characters with more depth. What made you accept the role of Park Soomin?_

_NJM: Honestly? I felt the need to stray away from the typical boy-next-door roles I’ve been known for. I wanted to act a character that feels real but I’m a bit afraid of taking a completely different role from what I usually do_ _since everyone is used to watching me as the charming guy that wins the heart of the girl in the end. I took the role for Soomin because he can be seen as the same but I think he’s like a middle ground… there’s definitely more to him than meets the eye so please watch ‘Spring Brings You’ to find out!_

_Q: Once you’re done with ‘Spring Brings You’, is there a certain actor/actress you want to work with?_

_NJM: There is none. But that’s because I’m already working with them now. You’re right if it’s Huang Renjun that’s in your mind. I wanted to work with him ever since his appearance in ‘Beautiful Time’. This is embarrassing to admit in an interview but I’ve been rooting for Renjun when he was still a less-known actor. I knew when I first saw him on ‘Regular Irregular’ that he’s going to be big one day. I watched ‘Beautiful Time’ because of him and I felt really proud — and I still am — that people recognized his stellar acting there. Don’t you think Injunnie is an amazing actor too? He’s showing us a different side in our drama and I’m lucky I get to watch it with front row seats._

**_Find more content about Na Jaemin in this month’s issue of ALLURE KOREA._ ** **_Get your copy now!_ **

“Seriously, Na Jaemin…” Renjun mutters once he finishes reading the article.

He decides it’s finally time to be truthful to Jaemin who has always been true to him.

**Huang Renjun** **  
** _wanna come over tonight?_

 **Nana** **  
** _sure :)_

*

Renjun opens the door to Jaemin, adorning an apologetic smile and holding a plastic bag in his hands.

“What’s that?” He peers at them curiously.

Jaemin turns sheepish and brings a hand up to rub on his nape, “Dumplings from your favorite Chinese takeout place. I heard from Sicheng you were craving them.”

“Should I be worried that you’re charming my manager?” Renjun asks in amusement. “You didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to. It’s also to make up for snapping at you last time…” Jaemin trails off, apology left unsaid hanging in the air.

Renjun flashes him an understanding smile and steps aside to make room for Jaemin to come in.

“Let’s eat together.” 

  
  


Later, they’re out on Renjun's balcony again, a few stars peeking behind the clouds in the night sky — though, Jaemin corrects it as the city’s pollution — the night feels more serene, comfortable. Without the buzz of alcohol compared to the previous night they were here, Renjun has a clear head and, perhaps, clearly knows what his heart wants.

He inhales deeply, mustering up his courage, it had to be said if he wants to make things right between him and Jaemin. 

“I’m sorry for being stubborn and selfish to you before but I didn’t avoid you on purpose. I had a lot in mind that time and you were a big part of it.”

Jaemin doesn’t respond and Renjun pays no mind, there’s no doubt in him that the other is listening. His heart drums loudly against his ribcage as his next words sit on the tip of his tongue, waiting to be uttered. He turns his head to look at Jaemin, taking in the actor’s handsome features, and he feels raging waves of anxiety calm down.

“I was falling in love with you and it scared me.” 

Speaking the truth was like a breathe of fresh air, a heavy weight removed off his chest, and it just feels _right._ Jaemin stills faintly at his confession, he could see in the way his eyes shake that he wasn’t expecting to hear Renjun admit he was falling for him.

“Remember the last time we were here?” Jaemin asks while maintaining his gaze at the city.

He might be tipsy that time but Renjun remembers. “Yeah, you talked about losing interest in romance.”

“Before that I said something else.”

Renjun vaguely recalls the moment but he didn’t really catch what Jaemin said then, “What was it?”

“What if love already found you again?” 

Jaemin finally glances at him and Renjun feels air knocked out of his lungs.

“I like you, Renjun.” He confesses and it rolls smoothly off his tongue, Renjun wonders how Jaemin has made it sound so easy and natural as if those words were meant to be said by him. “I don’t want to overwhelm you but I’m pretty sure I’ve fell in love with you the moment I met you.”

“Jaemin…” He says a little out of breath.

The said man faces him entirely, steps closer into his space, and Renjun whiffs the familiar scent of his cologne. Jaemin holds him by the waist tentatively and doesn’t pull him closer, leaving it for Renjun to decide. He holds Renjun’s gaze adoringly, eyes glinting like the stars that he has always associated Jaemin to.

“I understand that you’re afraid of believing in love and its promises again. I won’t promise you anything I’m not sure of but I hope that you’ll believe me when I say that this love — _my love_ for you is here to stay.” 

“So will you accept this love?”

“That shouldn’t even be a question.” Renjun loops his arms around Jaemin’s neck, hands entangling in his brown locks.

Renjun pulls him down to mold their lips together in a tender kiss. He has long known that kissing someone you love isn’t the same way as how it was shown in movies; fireworks don’t explode in the background, symphonious music doesn’t play on cue, the world doesn’t stop around them.

But kissing Jaemin doesn’t feel like it’s the first time. Their mouth slots naturally together and falls into a pace that makes him lightheaded and exhilarated at the same time. Renjun can get drunk in the way Jaemin presses his lips against his, soft and languid as though they have all the time in the world. Jaemin brings him impossibly closer to him, memorizing the way their bodies mold into each other.

Renjun breaks away panting with the need for air and his heart acts up upon seeing Jaemin’s disheveled state.

“I accept your love.” Jaemin smiles happy and bright, Renjun doesn’t fight the want to kiss him senseless again.

No matter what happens Renjun is certain of one thing, he loves Na Jaemin and for now it’s enough.

  
  


*

  
  


_Spring Brings You’s_ main cast gets requested to cover for a popular magazine due to its continuous rise in popularity among the audience. Expectedly, Renjun is assigned to a photoshoot with Jaemin and Yerim followed by an interview after.

“For Renjun _-ssi_ , we heard from the other cast members that you encountered problems while filming with Na Jaemin _-ssi_ but it appears that you two are getting along fine now. Is your relationship with Jaemin _-ssi_ in any way similar to Erin and Soomin who were rivals?”

Yerim, who’s sitting in between him and Jaemin, makes an intrigued expression and wriggles her eyebrows mischievously towards Renjun. Jaemin maintains his cool manner of reacting to the question, smile barely showcasing all of his teeth as he glances at Renjun anticipatingly. 

Renjun lets out a slightly embarrassed chuckle but not surprised at the question for him.

“First of all, I don’t think it’s right to call Erin and Soomin rivals. Sure it had looked like that from the start but as the story progressed we learned that their friendship — their _relationship,_ ” Renjun stresses on the word, “is deeper and more than mere rivals. Erin deeply cares about Soomin as well as the other way around. I don’t know how to answer this question without being a spoiler but Erin and Soomin love each other.

“And we aren’t that far from them. You can ask Jaemin, he likes me a lot.” He points his thumb at the actor and grins.

His answer causes a series of laughter among everyone in the studio, even a few chuckles from the recording staff. 

“It’s true. I like Injun-ah.” Jaemin spares him a knowing look and Renjun tries to control the blush that colors his cheeks.

“What a beautiful relationship that bloomed in the drama.” The interviewer comments. “Both yours and the main characters of the show.”

“Beautiful, indeed.” Jaemin agrees, gaze on Renjun.

  
  


Erin loves Park Soomin.

He’s whimsical, stubborn, acts before he thinks, and unapologetically blunt but he’s also kind, a genuine person, and cares for the people he loves more than his own self.

Soomin isn’t perfect but he’s still everything Erin wants.

**Author's Note:**

> first of all, huge thanks to the admins who organized this fest! :D also, thanks to the prompter who came up with the lovely au!! (i've been meaning to write an actor au ever since so i immediately jumped on the opportunity) although i'm not sure if this is what you were expecting, i still had fun working on this au! i think i took the prompt waaaaay bigger than it actually is and i wish there are parts that i could have done better but i really hope you ended up liking what i've created <3
> 
> there is so much into the drama though that i wish i could have explored and made to mirror renjun and jaemin's relationship irl but i'm quite satisfied with how this turned out :]


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